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Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.
There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.
Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.
If everyone on “24” followed Jack Bauer’s instructions, it would be called “12”.
Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.
There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
Jack Bauer doesn’t need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it’s fucking beef.
Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off.
...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, “I’ll take it from here.”
Jack Bauer thinks the word mercy just means “quick interrogation.”
Jack Bauer doesn’t laugh in the face of danger; Jack Bauer is the face of danger.
When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.
“You don’t know Jack” is a blessing among terrorists.
Don’t ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He’ll explain in the car.
Jack Bauer doesn’t speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: “Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day.”
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I say we just get rid of the current government and put Jack Bauer in charge. Life would get much better for most everybody.